Why “Be Yourself” Is Awful Advice

I recently listened to a podcast by my favorite relationship expert, Matthew Hussey. In it, he claimed that “be yourself” is terrible advice.


Because “be yourself” is just an excuse to be mediocre. It’s an excuse to keep doing whatever you’ve been doing. It’s an excuse to not take risks. It’s an excuse to not grow and improve upon yourself.

And we should all be trying to be better versions of ourselves. Because everyone has things that they can work on.

Think about it this way: Who is the person that you want to be? Who are the people that you envy? And why? Bthat person.

What are the things that you’ve always wanted to do? Do those things.

Let me give you an example. I’ve always been a pretty shy person–at least around new people. But it’s something that I’ve been working on, and I think over the years, I have become less shy. If I just accepted the advice to “be yourself,” then I could just as easily have stopped trying to strike up conversations with complete strangers and stopped stepping outside my comfort zone. And as a result, I would have missed out on a whole lot.

So instead, I try to do what my mom always told me to do: be more outgoing. I try to be more like my mom, who was not only outgoing, fun, vivacious, adventurous and funny, but incredibly thoughtful, generous, and kind too.

So here’s my two cents: Don’t be yourself. Instead, try to work on yourself. Try to become the very best version of yourself that you can be. And you know what they say…fake it til you make it. If you keep “faking it”–or keep practicing being the person that you want to be–eventually you will become that person.

You feel bad because you think you aren’t altruistic enough? Don’t be yourself. Instead, do more volunteer work. Or try doing one kind thing for someone else each day.

You think you’re someone who doesn’t have an ounce of rhythm and just can’t dance? Don’t be yourself. Take a dance class! And make a fool of yourself in the meantime. Who cares! And who knows, along the way, you might just discover that you have a hidden dance talent that you never knew you had.

Are you still single because you’ve always been scared to talk to people of the opposite sex? Don’t be yourself. Step outside your comfort zone. Face your fear of rejection. Get the courage to talk to that girl (or guy) that you’ve been crushing on.

Practice being that person that you want to be, whoever that may be. And in the end, you will become a stronger, more capable and better version of yourself. Guaranteed.

Published by maryb1986

I am a 26 year old blogger and graduate student of Global Communications living in Paris. As someone with an unbridled passion for Brazil and Brazilian Portuguese, I recently started teaching myself this beautiful language. This blog documents my journey as I learn Portuguese and all things Brazilian! If you have any comments, questions or would like to share some ideas, feel free to e-mail me at mbizzle19@gmail.com. And you can also follow my Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/apaixonadapelobrasil

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: